i just want you

10:16 PM

i wonder what our hearts would sound like if they were songs. 
can you imagine. 
an entire heaven dancing to the rhythms of our breathing lungs. 

goodness. 
this madness. 
the beauty. 
of this gift we call life. 

to share in your Presence. 
to share in your suffering. 
to share in your wonder. 
to share in your love. 

i've learned a lot of things recently. 
about the Father, but really about myself. 
it's funny how i'll live all my days in this fragile body and barely know the skin that cradles my heartbeat. 
you know me better than i know myself. 
it hits me deep sometimes. 
you know what i'm feeling before i can even make sense of it. 
and you just sit there. you listen. 
you listen to me. you pursue me. you chase me. 
as if you never even knew me at all. 
as if you were trying to discover the depths of me. 
as if you were trying to uncover the secrets of my heart. 

that kind of love. 
so wild. 
you want to learn me all over again. 
and when we're done, 
we start from the beginning. 
so you won't miss a thing. 
no. 
you don't miss a thing. 

there's something about you. 
something about the way you love me. 
it leaves me undone. 

i crawled the whole earth hoping to fill the emptiness. 
of a vacancy that could only be filled by your heart. 
i was made for a heaven kind of communion. 
i was woven for an intimate kind of relation. 

i know. 
i know that no one could ever replace you. 
i'd never want anything to even dare come close. 
forgive me for forgetting. 
that you are enough. 

it can be scary
when you begin to believe you're walking alone. 
but there's never a moment when i'm abandoned
because your heart is my home. 

you know what i need. 
you know what i want. 
and you care. 
the smallest detail matters to you. 
my every longing. 
is important to your Father heart. 

when i laugh, you smile. i hear you humming to the love songs we sing together. 
every day. 
our story just gets more intricately beautiful. 
a constant finding. 
a constant seeking. 
the more i press in. the more you draw me. 

goodness. 
it's like an eternity is just beginning inside of me. 
when i look at you. 
i know. 
you are the reason i am existing. 

i want to spend every day learning. 
how to love the way you've loved me. 
and i'm still deep in the process. 
of learning about trusting. 

it can be hard- and you know. 
when so many lesser loves left me. 
but you stand with me. patiently. 
until i'm ready. 

so take me where you're going. 
lead me deeper into all you are. 
i don't want it if you're not in it. 
i just want you. 

i don't want it if you're not in it. 
i just want you. 

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Ashley

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