/ a whisper /

12:49 AM

walking with the lord is such a beautiful journey.
everyday it's something new.
something different and fresh.

he's always taking me further.
we're never in the same place twice.
it's always an adventure.

recently, my heart has been seeking.
even though i'm full. i'm not satisfied.
i always want more.
more of his presence.
more of his spirit.
more of his kingdom in my life.

i want to see his face.
i want to look into his eyes until we take every breath together.
lean against him. feel his heartbeat.
melt in the stillness of his peace.

i was in the presence of the lord last night pouring my heart.
with jesus, i feel like there's a distinct difference between transparency and intimacy.
transparency is just telling jesus everything he already knows.
he already knows everything about you.
he knows you inside out.
he doesn't need facts.
he doesn't care for them.
he wants your heart.
he wants your mess. your pieces.
jesus isn't concerned about how "good" you're doing.
how put together your act is. or how neat your life appears.
your success is not measured by outcome in his eyes.
i feel like so often i have these thoughts that are just downright discouraging.
i find myself thinking 
" i gotta keep working. keep fixing this. cleaning that up.
and one day. hopefully i'll be good enough.
i know god's called me for this. and i know he's leading me here.
but right now.
right now i'm just not good enough. "

and sometimes you just kinda laugh at yourself. 
like good grief. 
i certainly wasn't "good enough" when jesus saved me and he loved me then.
sometimes the sweetest songs. the most precious encounters with the lord. 
come out of our messes. 

i was listening to a message by one of my favorite hearts, steffany gretzinger, and it was just
so. powerful.
i mean.
so powerful.

the lord knew exactly what encouragement my heart needed.
and she spoke about how god's not interested in the destination.
he's interested in the process. in the journey. in the undone.
and every time we think we made it.
we're reminded that now.
NOW- here on earth. we see just a part. not the whole, but a part.
even as we taste his goodness.
or as he speaks to us and we go out and prophesy.
we do not see the whole.
we see just a part.

and one day.
one day when we get to the other side.
then. we will be completely undone.
when we are face to face with jesus.
nothing will ever matter again.
but him.
that's it.
him.

anyway.
phew.
got a little sidetracked.

really, what i wanted to share with you lovelies is just a word that the lord spoke to me. 
it was on a night when i really wanted to hear from the lord. 
i was praying for a prophetic vision. 
a spirit-filled calling. 
so i would know exactly where he wanted me.
i was so focused on searching and wanting to find and see him. 
that i was forgetting that he was already here. already speaking. 

and sometimes. 
ah. 
you know i can be a restless heart. 
i'm always asking questions and i'm just all over the place. 
and jesus takes my hand, cradles my heart. 
and he whispers. breathe. slow down. enjoy this moment. right now. with me.

it's not always about waiting and waiting for the promise land. 
it's about (quotin' steffany) finding the promise in the land you are in right now. 

and jesus came to me. 
with a still voice. like a father coming to gently instruct his child. 
whispering..

/ you must learn to trust me.
i won't always give you a vision. you won't always see a sign. 
i don't want your faith to be based on wonders and miracles alone. 
i want you to fall into me fully. 
to trust me with no conditions.  
to be close with me always. 
to stop searching for the "then" and start seeing the "now". 
and i will teach you. 
i will reteach you everything you think you know. 
let it go. 
rest your heart in mine. 
and i will keep you "here". in this process. on this journey. 
i will keep you here until we are one. 
and you'll fly.  
and when you're ready, you will soar. 
and i will show you all sorts of beautiful wonders. 
you will witness many miracles in my name. 
you will see my glory manifested. 
you will encounter my presence. 
you will prophesy my words. 
i'm filling you up. 
i'm breathing my breath into your lungs. 
my spirit into your soul. 
don't compare your journey with anyone else's. 
it's just you and me. 
so say hello. 
say hello, my child. 
to this beautiful adventure we will journey together. 
i love you. 
forever and always. /

<3




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5 comments

  1. our hearts beat a little differently but your thoughts here are pure and beautiful. you receive so much strength from your faith. your words here are lovely!!!

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  2. Beautifully said, I wish I could put into words the way I feel like you can. I do think we are all going so fast these days, everything in our world is right now, it is good to slow down and have the chance to let the Lord speak to us, I think sometimes we can't hear or know what he is trying to tell us because we have way too much going on in our lives.

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  3. Ashley, I wanted to say thank you so much for the lovely comment on my blog. it really made my day :)

    and this post was so beautiful. I really admire your relationship with God. I can see how you are striving and learning and growing. your faith is encouraging.

    I love your blog. I cant wait to read more :) .

    keep following the Lord. psalm 46:10 says "be still and know that I am God."
    be still and trust in Him.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I have explored your collection of reflections and this one is my favorite!

    ReplyDelete

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