learn to love

11:30 PM

i'm poured out as water. 
what have i done. 
where have i failed. 
i give wholeheartedly. 
only to be shattered wholeheartedly. 

i try to breathe. 
but there's no more oxygen left. 
there's no time to self-protect. 
there's no more time to prove who's right and who's wrong. 

what even is love. 
what did you mean when you said "love one another". 
what joke have we invented to feebly pretend that the profound sacredness of givenness does not exist. 

i want to know. 
i want to know what it means to love. 
i don't care how much it'll hurt me. 
i don't care how wounded i'll become. 
let the scars pile on me. 
i want to know
what it means to love. 

you are pursuit. 
you are in conception, in life, in death, in glory, in sorrow, in betrayal, in hope. 
you are chasing. relentless. 
you don't give up. 

i feel my strength bleed out of me. 
it will take all that i have. 
it will take all that is left of me. 
to forgive. 
to relent revenge. 
and receive mercy. 

pour it over me. 
pour into me the grace that will replace my oxygen.
pour into me the mercy that will run through my veins like life. 

i need to know what it means to love. 
there is no love without the pain. 
my existence is proof of your givinness. 
i am worth nothing. 
yet somehow you gave everything for me. 

i learn from you. 
i learn to love from you. 
i learn to mend from you. 
you are healing. 
you will teach me. 
you will teach me what it means to break open, and stretch out my arms, and pour out my deep into the hands that have cut me. 
to love is sacrifice. 
but giving is receiving. 
and there is no better gift than this- 
to live kingdom by living grace. 
to live kingdom by living mercy. 
to be kingdom by choosing love. 

oh the deep, deep love of jesus

it sings over me. 
you have loved me like this. you have loved me like this. 
you love me like this. 
i, too, will love like this. 

because it's worth it. 
if my shatteredness can bring wholeness to even one soul, 
i have won the world. 
if my emptiness can bring fullness into one existence, 
i have been given my full share. 

i was born to bring healing. 
i was born to give and pour and share and forgive and cry and weep with the hurting and laugh and dance with the hoping. 
i was given the love of a thousand angels 
so i may love this world back together again. 

you told me to bear my cross. 
to crucify self. 
and embody a new being. 

so i'll follow you. 
i'll walk in your footsteps. 
i'll surrender to the wooden beam and i won't resist the nails that pierce. 
i'll love those who hold the rod that hit me. 
i'll bless those who mock me as i bleed. 
because you did. for me. 

and in the end. love is victorious. 
i do not fight in humiliation or defeat. 
i do not struggle and wrestle only to fail. 
you have promised joy in the midst of every battle. 
and that joy swells my being with hope. 

and like a beautiful exchange, the beauty will return to me. 
the gift of grace will rain over me with a downpour. 
heaven is invading earth in every tender act of mercy. 
and i won't stop getting lost in this wild love, 
until i reach home in heaven with you. 


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  1. "heaven is invading Earth in every tender act of mercy..."

    I see this.

    "so i may love this world back together again."



  3. Oh if we all could only love one another like Jesus loves us, this world would be a wonderful place!
    Beautiful written!

  4. Hello, beautiful words and poem. Thanks for sharing. Happy Sunday, enjoy your day and new week ahead. PS, thanks also for the comment on my blog.

  5. touching and so beautiful!

    love is base of this whole universe ,all we have to do is to ponder upon nature and learn that LOVE IS CONNECTION < GIVING AND SELFLESSNESS


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