10:20 AM

i'm back again. 
on the same hill i've sat on for ages before. 
staring at the same tree. 
the same sky. 
the same creek. 
the birds are different, i'm sure. 
but they seem the same. 
same freedom. 
same soaring. like they don't have a care in the world. 

scary thought, don't you think? 
the way every day seems to pass so slowly yet years vanish before you even have a chance to say hello. 

seconds are blinks. 
minutes are loner. 
hours can seem short depending on what you're doing. 
days can last forever. 
weeks somehow slip away. 
months are like nighttime. you can't remember falling asleep and somehow it's morning. 
but years. 
years are like stories. 
they hold our worlds. 
they hold our worst. 
they know our best. 
they're stored up in chapters. 
some we leave behind. 
some we wish we could burn. 
others we want to relive. 

i'm staring into nothingness. 
and a new year is staring back at me. 
cause some number of years ago. 
a little girl was born. 
she cried a lot. 
fussed a lot. 
grew up. 
and asked a lot. 
twirled a lot. 
grew up some more. 
she sang a lot. 
played a lot. 
got a little taller. 
and learned a lot. 
knew a lot. 
she always wanted to be older. 
so she could explore a lot. 
venture a lot. 

but the time came when she broke a bit. 
hurt a bit. 
and what seemed safe was no longer there
it disappeared. 
and her smile it turned to tears
she could no longer see
the twinkle in the stars
and the beauty in who she was. 
and all of the sudden
the heavens thought they had lost their little girl. 

but there was a lover who knew 
the way back to her heart. 
he took her, and loved her, and mended her hurt. 
he listened. 
he spoke. 
he cried with her. 
sat with her. 
walked with her. 
danced with her. 
he taught her to sing with tears streaming down her face. 
he taught her to laugh through the sharpest of pains. 
he taught her to dance.
he taught her to love. 
he taught her to be wild. reckless. and overflowing with joy. 

they walked together. 
unraveled and undone. 
but he had all her pieces, and loved her together. 
she found herself 
in the heart of her lover. 

he crowned her with grace. 
and robed her in beauty. 
she was his jewel. 
and he was her lifesource. 

and that little girl was reborn from ashes. 
still dancing. still twirling. still laughing. still singing. 


the nothingness seems peaceful. 
a world could be collapsing in my mind
but here. 
there' stillness. 

i breathe in. 

you crown my year with bounty. 
you adorn my year with joy. 

a lifetime is so short compared to eternity. 
but every moment matters. 
to heaven. 
every second is a treasure chest. 

i'm ready. 
i'm ready for a new chapter to my story. 
                                 s c r a t c h   t h a t 
i'm ready for you to rewrite my story. 

my story is not hidden. 
for it's written by your love. 
my heartbeat is not a secret. 
for you shaped it after yours. 

you'll crown this year with an abundance of goodness. 
i feel it deep deep down. 
it doesn't matter what the world thinks. 
it's just you and me. 
in the garden. 
at the beginning. 

bountiful harvest. 

it awaits. 
let it come. 

[ p s a l m  65 ] 

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