m.o.m.e.n.t.s.

6:25 PM

5:24 p.m. sunny, partly cloudy sky.
5:25 p.m. kitchen fan humming in the distance. mom cooking dinner.
5:26 p.m. received new email. my college textbook order has been confirmed.

little lesson i learned being a college freshman: college textbooks are expensive.
insanely expensive.

up to two hundred dollars for a book i will use for roughly three months.
why.
why.
WHY.


anyway, life has been busy. always busy. but busy is good. i like busy.
my newest adventure has been the process of recording my very own worship album.

and goodness.
what a journey that has been.
i reluctantly use the words "my very own". in fact, i regret writing them.
the way little melodies tangled up with lyrics arrive so unannounced and unexpectedly-

how could i call them mine?
they're gifts.
little surprises sent from heaven.

and the most beautiful thing is that so. many. times. these songs are written and jotted down in my unorganized music journal...
then in really hard moments.
in moments of pain. and doubt. and heartache.

i remember them.

and i sing them to myself.
and it's amazing. because i didn't know. i didn't know how much i'd need them.
but He knew.

and ah.
it's just a beautiful experience i've been so blessed to have.
it fe-

one second.
my electric kettle is beeping.
tea is ready.

.....

i'm always so fascinated by steam.
how the little vapors just float upwards creating intricate designs.
and how they're powerful enough to burn you.

but you can't hold it. you can't catch it in your hand.

same with fire.
so majestic. and beautiful. and dangerous.

yet so unreachable.

wonders of creation, right?
my mind is so boggled by the intricacy of life.
the mass detail hidden inside the smallest aspects of our universe.

what a beautiful earth.
what a beautiful Creator.
what a beautiful life.

every night i spend my quiet time on my balcony cuddled in my fuzzy polka dot bathrobe.
above me is an endless, open, pitch dark sky bejeweled with countless stars.
millions, and billions, and trillions, and zillions of stars peer down at me.

flickering.
some are bright.
some are hardly noticeable.
some captivate your attention.
others meekly shine their brightest in the distance. requiring attention and effort to observe.

ever so often, a star shoots across the sky.
ever so often, a satellite interrupts the stillness.  
but it's so breathtakingly beautiful.

and many times, i can't think.
                           i can't pray.
                           i forget all the chaos.
and just breathe.
breathe in the beauty.
breathe in the infinity of creativity and uniqueness every star possess.

and i can't help but smile.
can't help but think, "what a wonderful life".

cause no matter how crazy.
no matter how scattered.
no matter how many things interrupt our days and fight for our attention.
there's always time to observe.
always time to recognize the beauty He has gifted.
always time to breathe in Heaven.

just a little every day.

<3 

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5 comments

  1. This post gave me a smile. The last part about breathing in beauty reminds me of a song I sang as a duet with my vocal teacher several years back:

    O Lord of life, thy quick'ning voice awakes my morning song:
    With joyful heart I do rejoice, that I to Thee belong.
    I see thy light. I feel thy wind. Earth is thy uttered word.
    Thy Spirit wakes my heart and mind, I hear thy voice my Lord.


    Wow. $200 for a textbook is crazy, especially since old textbooks are hard to give away! A year or so ago I picked up a box of them for free at a local thrift store.

    That is so wonderful that the Lord has given you songs to call your own. He gave me a few songs as well around the time I was 16, and I've thought about them and sung them to myself many times. They're a blessing to me.

    Have an awesome mid-week. God bless.

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  2. I love your writing. You can almost see what youre thinking.

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  3. real life writing...unscripted, i love it!! i am a nurse and went to school so long ago, i don't remember the cost for books. however, i do remember paying for my sons books and wow-zers, they are expensive!!!

    and yes i agree, it is a wonderful life!!!

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  4. you are blessed you can make one to addict to read you .
    you are gifted with such a precious way of thinking .the way you described your day your sky your tea and your thoughts it is so spontaneous and touching .

    in your age i was attached with everything the sky ,green fields ,stream ,cattle and gardens of various fruits ,oldies and young fellows of my village .they all still breath in me ,love you dear,take good care

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  5. i love reading your posts almost as much as i love peanut butter!
    beautiful as always, lovely
    <333

    ReplyDelete

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