5:24 p.m. sunny, partly cloudy sky.
5:25 p.m. kitchen fan humming in the distance. mom cooking dinner.
5:26 p.m. received new email. my college textbook order has been confirmed.

little lesson i learned being a college freshman: college textbooks are expensive.
insanely expensive.

up to two hundred dollars for a book i will use for roughly three months.
why.
why.
WHY.


anyway, life has been busy. always busy. but busy is good. i like busy.
my newest adventure has been the process of recording my very own worship album.

and goodness.
what a journey that has been.
i reluctantly use the words "my very own". in fact, i regret writing them.
the way little melodies tangled up with lyrics arrive so unannounced and unexpectedly-

how could i call them mine?
they're gifts.
little surprises sent from heaven.

and the most beautiful thing is that so. many. times. these songs are written and jotted down in my unorganized music journal...
then in really hard moments.
in moments of pain. and doubt. and heartache.

i remember them.

and i sing them to myself.
and it's amazing. because i didn't know. i didn't know how much i'd need them.
but He knew.

and ah.
it's just a beautiful experience i've been so blessed to have.
it fe-

one second.
my electric kettle is beeping.
tea is ready.

.....

i'm always so fascinated by steam.
how the little vapors just float upwards creating intricate designs.
and how they're powerful enough to burn you.

but you can't hold it. you can't catch it in your hand.

same with fire.
so majestic. and beautiful. and dangerous.

yet so unreachable.

wonders of creation, right?
my mind is so boggled by the intricacy of life.
the mass detail hidden inside the smallest aspects of our universe.

what a beautiful earth.
what a beautiful Creator.
what a beautiful life.

every night i spend my quiet time on my balcony cuddled in my fuzzy polka dot bathrobe.
above me is an endless, open, pitch dark sky bejeweled with countless stars.
millions, and billions, and trillions, and zillions of stars peer down at me.

flickering.
some are bright.
some are hardly noticeable.
some captivate your attention.
others meekly shine their brightest in the distance. requiring attention and effort to observe.

ever so often, a star shoots across the sky.
ever so often, a satellite interrupts the stillness.  
but it's so breathtakingly beautiful.

and many times, i can't think.
                           i can't pray.
                           i forget all the chaos.
and just breathe.
breathe in the beauty.
breathe in the infinity of creativity and uniqueness every star possess.

and i can't help but smile.
can't help but think, "what a wonderful life".

cause no matter how crazy.
no matter how scattered.
no matter how many things interrupt our days and fight for our attention.
there's always time to observe.
always time to recognize the beauty He has gifted.
always time to breathe in Heaven.

just a little every day.