after all, we all try to be good enough to squeeze into that innocently brutal term.

beautiful.
it's been defined so many times. it's been changed. stereotyped. misused. glorified.
why be you if you can be "better"?
why be satisfied. grateful. confident. with yourself if you can turn your world upside down in hopes that your everything is somehow good enough for infinite expectations?
i do not want to be their 'beautiful'.

i do not need to manipulate myself in order to get a seal of approval.
i do not need a fame-worthy sillouette with side effects that jeopardize my character, joy, relationships, and faith.
because the reflection in a mirror has no value.
              the number on a scale is worthless.
              the size of my waist is irrelevant.

i refuse to be defined by a number.
i refuse to be valued by merely flesh and bones.

disregarding the fact that our society's endless obsession with the reflection in the mirror has been a major source of eating disorders, depression and even suicides, it has derailed us from soul checking to constant body checking.
how many times do we i weigh out my actions opposed to weighing my physical body?
how many times do i scrutinize myself in a spiritual mirror in comparison to hating every inch of myself from head to toe?
how many times do i compare myself to the only perfect model of life (Jesus Christ) rather than comparing myself to society's standards of "perfection"?

let me tell you- not enough.
i am guilty of wrongly evaluating my priorities.
beauty is not what our world claims it is.

beauty is a gentle spirit. a giving heart. a kind soul. knees bowed at the foot of the cross. a humble attitude. a positive mindset. honest words. a helpful hand. a wise mind. a selfless soul.

i am far from this sort of beauty .
far from reaching the standards set for a godly woman.
but this beauty is worth fighting for.

as it was once said, "a beautiful woman uses her lips for truth, her voice for kindness, her ears for compassion, her hands for charity, and her heart for love. for those who do not like her, she uses prayer."

much love to you all!

// your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. // ~ 1 peter 3:3-4